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From Bonang to Sarah Langa and now Mihlali, we have no option but to stan girls with no dating record, even when everyone knows.

But, equally, there’s nothing wrong with a woman picking a man up for the date either.

Given the explosion in dating apps—and cultural phenomena such as the #metoo movement—the rules of courtship today are changing in real time.

And if you’re over 40 and re-entering the dating pool after a long absence, you might find the new reality jarring—and that many of the things once considered “romantic” are now seen as “creepy.” To make sure that doesn’t happen to you, here we’ve compiled all of the wildly dated and totally old-fashioned dating rules that once were great but today you should avoid at all costs. And to learn all of the seemingly dated but still relevant rules of courtship, check out 40 Old-Fashioned Relationship Tips That Still Apply Today.

And for more on this, see how this New Study Says Older Men Want Women to Make the First Move.

There are a lot of ways in which the apps have made the dating landscape more challenging, especially for women.

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