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Our new residents were different in a particular way — they were brown, which was the easiest thing to identify and, in turn, attach prejudices to.In school, the term “dirty Mexican” became a very common insult, and the link to me was made immediately.

Brett had expressed interest in me for many years, but I never returned the feelings.

Not only did I look like these immigrants, but I spoke the language and lived on the very edge of town, Selma Boulevard, a street known to offer more affordable housing.

I was suddenly viewed as different from the same kids I’d grown up alongside since pre-K.

You don't need to cry in public or at work, but if you feel like crying, do it. People can almost never turn a breakup into healthy friendship, and until you’re okay with the idea of your ex dating someone new — and vice versa — you’re not ready to be friends. I had a friend once tell me, “never make a bold decision in a valley only on the mountain top.” There is nothing more obvious to the world that you don't know how to properly deal with your pain than a new haircut, a new style, and a tattoo.

Learn the difference from being upset for a few weeks and depression. Be excited that you are one step closer to finding your match.

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