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Some lesbians liked to be tight-lipped (no pun intended) about the gay underworld. I see it like this: It's hard enough to be gay in this cruel, cold, heteronormative world.We don't need to make it even harder on the young bloods by keeping our world so secretive. However, I don't recommend girlfriend-hunting at a straight bar in those fragile early days of your gayness.So here it is, kids: Zara's official dating tips for the newly out LEZ. And lesbians are so incestuous that we've all dated each other by now. There is always a lesbian art walk, or book club, or walk across the Brooklyn Bridge. I used to troll the straight bars when I was a new lez, and almost all the girls I thought were gay weren't. I just sat back and watched my straight girlfriends make out with fratty-looking boys, and I would just grow increasingly bitter and irritated and end up overdrinking and waking up depressed and hopeless and hungover. In the early days, bite the bullet and GO TO THE GAY BAR (before they shut down). But they have NO right to be offended by you hitting on them when in lesbian land.Also, other gays, gays at the office, gays in the family, gays at the gym, gays everywhere will come flying out of the woodwork.If you're new to being gay, online dating is your best friend.