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Moreover, the particular effect ADHD has on communication, as Emma explains, results in our not noticing the problem.Luckily, I get some reassurance about this: “This is absolutely not about who you are or what kind of person you are,” she says.It’s no surprise, I suppose, that this issue is so prevalent, considering that an estimated 4% of the population — or 8 million adults — have Attention-Deficit/Hyperactive Disorder (there’s no distinction between ADHD and the colloquially common “ADD” anymore), and that less than 20% of us have been diagnosed.According to Emma, people like me with ADHD may have no idea how long we’ve been talking, and our brain may grab onto tangents in a story.And right now, she’s being brutally honest about feedback she’s received from two very different people I’ve been set up with: a childhood friend of hers who I’d initially hit it off with, and a match who I was relatively sure through a text conversation before the date even happened wasn’t for me.“They both used the word ,” Emma tells me.I immediately flash back to my childhood, when my parents regularly told me to “shut up,” unless we were at one of their friends’ houses and I was entertaining the group.

I couldn’t find a middle ground, so I just stopped talking. She also suggests I use self-talk; for instance, by saying something to myself like, .This piece is Katie’s Klabusich’s second dispatch from the front lines of her romantic life for the #Its Totally Me dating series, which follows Establishment writers Klabusich and Wagatwe Wanjuki as they utilize professional matchmakers and the insights of various experts to get to the bottom of their perpetual singledom.You can read the series’ introductory post of matchmakers see a lot.”Emma Tessler of Dating Ring is the best I’ve ever encountered at gently explaining something the listener isn’t going to like and may even react disastrously to.Tschudi breaks down the types of unintentional behaviors that can make us look uninterested in the other person.“My daughter would do the ‘squirrel thing’ — anything that caught her eye, she’d look away during one-on-one conversation,” she says.“A friend of hers very kindly said, ‘You don’t seem to be very interested in what I’m trying to talk to you about.’ And she was interested!

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